My husband Grant, 11 year old son Garreth and I finally came to terms with the fact that medically we would certainly not be able to add another member to our family. We looked at the option of adoption. We did not believe for one minute it would be possible to love another person's child like our own and did not consider a cross-racial adoption as an option.
In January 1999 I decided to get involved at Acres of Love, a home for abandoned babies, for two reasons; partly as an extension of my work and partly because I longed to hold a baby and thought this would be a good way to get the opportunity
On my way to Acres I prayed “God please let there be a little girl there for me to get involved with, if she was white that would be a bonus and no HIV would be great!”. Just before I arrived there I said, “Oh if I could ever bring her home for a weekend, what should we call her?” The answer came to me immediately. “JOY”. I smiled and thought that certainly wouldn't have been my choice, but okay!
At Acres of Love, I was told that they had a baby in mind for me. She was an attempted abortion at 30 weeks. They took me to meet the little one. Well, it was a girl, she was black and she had HIV. I thought, God, one out of three is not really good! I touched her hair, it was so soft - just a mass of black curls. I asked what her name was and they said: “Her name is JOY!”
I was overwhelmed with emotion. When Joy woke up, they let me hold her. I held her and studied her, she was studying me right back. I was amazed at how dark she was, her eyes, skin, hair even her gums - I thought she was the most adorable little baby I had ever seen.
On my way home I phoned my husband and told him what had taken place and asked him to come back later and meet the little one. I could not get her face out of my mind! At 5pm my husband Grant, my son Garreth and I made our way back to Acres of Love to see baby Joy. She mesmerized Grant. Garreth could not stop smiling and loved the way she clung to his little finger.
After the second visit to Acres, I felt the most incredible love for Joy. Grant was desperately trying to hold on to "rational-logic" and yet every spare moment we had was spent visiting Joy. Acres saw the bond growing stronger and guided us with incredible wisdom and understanding. We began the adoption process...
Bringing Joy home was incredible. Grant and I were overwhelmed with love, joy, fear, reservations, enthusiasm, the responsibility of having a different race baby with HIV - would she revert? Somehow though, our fears did not seem to matter.
In May 1999 we received the incredible news that Joy's HIV status had changed - she was clear! What a glorious day this was.
We have learned so much since Joy became part of our lives. Color really is skin deep. We could not love Joy more. We never believed we would ever love another person's child as our own … we were so wrong! Joy really is our daughter and Garreth's little sister.
She is doing very well. Her first love is definitely music, closely followed by story time.. For various reasons we have changed her name to Abigail which means "The Father's Joy".
We realize that there will be challenges ahead, but quite honestly this little life which God saved and hand-picked for us to care for is worth it.
